its me again!

this is the only place anymore...

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 07:52:52 GMT

this is the only place i can go to anymore... my secret place..
it's sad how it seems like the only thing that understands is a freaking internet journal. what has this world come to?

I never thought I knew what love was. "Love"
how do you define that word? there's so many different kinds, differnet people... just.. how do you know?
I never thought I would find out. When I asked other people all they would say was "you just know"
well, I thought that was a bunch of bullshit. "you just know"? really? come on people.

but...
then I met him.
I met Ray.
My first ever, true love.
blah blah blah so cliche, i know. I hated it. I hated being apart of the "you just know" crowd. I promised myself I would never fall into it. But Ray made me fall so hard, I just couldn't stop. and because of that, I got hit. i got hit. HARD.

I remember everything about what we had, everything we shared together.

I remember being the band geek, and I him being the quarterback of the football team.
I remember wondering why he was even talking to me at all, I wasn't popular.
I remember laughing with him in Web Design, every single say, pissing the teacher off.
I remember him asking for my number.
I remember starting to like him.
I remember hating myself for it.
I remember not being able to hold back anymore.
I remember admitting it to him, and him admitting it to me. the exact look on his face, the exact words that came out of his mouth. I remember being so nervous.
I remember all the crap people said about him.
I remember ignoring it.
I remember the first time we hung out. it was at the park, MY park. the one i've gone to my entire life. whenever I was sad, I would go to that park. whenever i was happy, or bored. I brought guys to that park like I was bringing them to my parents. Every guy had to meet the park.I remember what I wore. I remember staying out there until past midnight, just talking with him, laying in the grass. I remember teaching him how to direct, and putting my arms around him. I remember him coming home to meet my mom that night. I remember him winning her heart, just like he was starting to win mine.
I remember my amazing graduation party, and him putting his arm around me at the movie that night.I remember him putting frosting on my nose. I remember taking a ton of pictures with him. I remember walking him to his car, holding his hand.
I remember my graduation day, and him embracing me right after it happened. I remember walking around the field holding his hand. I remember spending that whole day with him, party hopping, and bowling that night. I remember falling asleep in his car, and him waking me up to say good bye.
I remember going to Abby's birthday party, playing ultimate frisbee, and taking the most amazing picture I've ever taken with anyone, with him.
I remember driving his truck, being so scared, but doing it so he could steal wood from the front of king soopers, just to take me back to his house to make a fire and look at the stars.
I remember meeting his dad that night.
I remember kissing him for the very first time in the parking lot of a church.
I remember falling asleep on his chest in his car, in the parking lot of the school.
I remember talking with him for hours about his football, and my music.
I remember driving way too far past our destination with him, because we got into a deep conversation about God.
I remember going to Chili's, twice.
I remember how nice he looked.
I remember the way he smelled.
I remember the way he laughed.
I remember his smile.
I remember the way he talked.
I remember his heart.
I remember falling in love with him.

I remember him ignoring me.
I remember him finally writing back... just to ignore me again.
I remember him not saying good bye.

It's like an adventure, that never ends. because i've learned something. You will NEVER stop loving your first love, NEVER. as hard as it may be, i have to accept that fact. I know, slowly, very slowly but surely I'm falling out of love with him. He's fading from my heart and my mind more and more every day. But he'll never truly fade away. He'll always be in there some how, some way. I don't know why he came into my life, I guess to teach me how to love I supposed, but I also don't know why he left. And no matter what he does to me, no matter how much he hurt me, I still love him. and care for him. and I can't think any less of him. I don't know, I just can't. he hurt me more then anything... I trusted him, I thought he loved me, I was so happy, and it had to be taken away.. he took that away from me, he took that happiness. I don't know why it's so easy for people to leave me, or to break their promise to me. saying "i'll never hurt you amy" must mean "i'm not really serious amy, and i have a knife behind my back just waiting for the right moment to pierce you heart"
i'm not throwing a pity party. but i'm sick of getting my heart broken. and i know ray is never coming back to me, i just have to learn to move on. and i'm still figuring out how.
so he can have fun, spreading rumors about me, when he knows we didn't have sex, and never would have had sex, he can have fun, dating a more popular girl than me, he can have fun, with all his football friends.
i'm going to continue with my life in college, leaving him behind as much as i can, just like he left me behind... completely.

i'm ready to move on

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:04:29 GMT

12 days! 12 days until I move away from brighton.
it breaks my heart, but makes me so happy at the same time.
I'm gonna miss some people, but I know it's going to be okay.

I love you Emily!
I love you Libby!
I love you Jeremy!
I love you Kaylin!

I'd say those are the four people I will miss the most, the ones that have really been there for me lately.
I'd say if I didn't send hours on the phone with Emily and Libby today I wouldn't be in such a good mood right now.

and last but not least,
I love you Ray.

I do. I'll announce it to the world. I don't care if we broke up, that doesn't change anything, we still have a great friendship, even if we can't see eachother for a while. Even if he doesn't talk to me in months and it feels like he doesn't care, I'll always love him.

Ray Ritter, You'll ALWAYS be my best friend. no matter what.
and you know what? Al I want is for you to be happy. I know you won't read this, but even if you get a new girlfriend, I won't be jealous, I just want you to be happy. Truly. Even if that means you need to say goodbye to me.
because I know what we felt for eachother was real. And that's all that matters.

I'm going to miss you.
In fact, I already do.
So much it hurts. But I can't let that get to me, or bring me down anymore. i decided I want to do so much more with my life than be broken hearted forever. As much as I love you, I have to move on. For now, at least.

But i'm ready to move to Fo Co. once and for all. goodbye.

sometimes it feels like my dreams are too high for me to reach

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:30:38 GMT

I don't feel like I'm good enough..

this is what I want to accomplish:

-Symphony Orchestra, maybe Colorado, Chicago, Europe?
- Mission Trip to Africa
-Adopt a chinese kid
-Have a successful marriage with a man I truly love and who truly loves me
-Play piano for a church, or something. piano teacher?
-flute teacher
-own my own music store/studio/music therapy

it's going to take a lot of work, i know, and i'm willing to do that, but it just seems like no matter what I do I won't be good enough. I was playing my piano today and its hard. it's definitely not easy. part of me just wants to give up, but I love music to much.

but im so so so sic of feeling so inferior to my brother Mark in like, every area of life.
Popularity, talent, intelligence, he's better at all of them

he even gets away with more shit at home with out parents and stuff

im so done feeling this way about him. ugh

and i chose the same college as him

what did i get myself into?!!

what an adventure.

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 17:58:49 GMT

last night was crazy. i can't explain all of it in detail, just because there are some things that i'd rather not put on the internet, but yeah. here's what i will say:

hanging out at jeremy's house, pretty crazy.

i wanted to go outside, but he didn't want to wake the neighbors, and he was laying on the floor, and when i was opening the door he kicked it shut, right on my finger.

and my whole entire nail came off of my finger.

it was the most painful thing. i was screaming pretty loud.
and they kept me there for about an hour and then i went to abby's house, her dad patched it up temporarily, and then i went to my house, where my brother took me to the ER.

and the doctor stitched my nail back on and then bandaged it, and prescribed me to some meds.

what would we do without doctors today?

if this had hapened in the olden days, with no numbing medicine, then i would be dead by now.

bahaha

say goodbye, to the world you thought you lived in...

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 05:05:43 GMT

Today wasn't a very good day.
well, not the end of it.

the middle was pretty good. I went on two bike rides and I felt pretty refreshed. i think I'm going to be taking a lot of bike rides this summer. It's pretty good exercise, keeps me from being bored, and gets me to see the pretty outdoors. I can't wait until I ride my bike to Denver with some buds. that'll be cool.

I do want summer to end though. As weird as that sounds. It doesn't even feel like summer though. The first month was full of constant work, and now I'm just full of negative thoughts and still holding onto some things I need to let go of. It will probably help when I go to college.

I miss Masonic Band Camp. I only got to go once, I miss all the people I met, and the camp was so amazing and fun, I can't believe I had to miss it this summer.

I miss being drum major. Now THAT was the time of my life. Even though the Brighton band isn't really that good, to be honest, i just wanted to make good music and make a difference. which I hope I did. But now that's gone, and I had to pass the torch along. which was kind of weird.

I miss NOT having a broken heart.
I miss this person. and I don't know how to move on right now, and it seems like no one really understands.
But then again, I don't really know how to explain it.

I miss being happy and care free and knowing who I am.

and now i'm deathly afraid of college, and losing myself, and this huge huge campus, and i'm scared of flunking out, and i'm scared of absolutely no happiness.

yeah, a lot of emotions. but what else is new i guess right

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:54:16 GMT

My life is changing.
A lot.

It's pretty exciting, actually.
I'm so glad to be done with high school, and all the stupid drama and people. I have a clean slate, I lost the people that I needed to lose, and gained the people I needed to gain. I'm ready to start college and have some fun.
let's party.

I don't like it when people act like they know everything that goes on in my life.
or they act like they know exactly how i feel about it, or should I say him.
Shouldn't I be the one to determine if I "love" him or not?
seriously. i don't tell the world everything.

I don't believe that breaking up means it wasn't love. It just means that it wasn't the right time.
or not the right person. but that doesn't mean we didn't love each other. the present break up doesn't change the past.
I'm not being naive or stupid, or denying the fact that what he did was really shady. cause it was.
one of the shadiest I've ever had a guy do.

But ya know, I actually have a heart, and it cared for him. whether it was love or not, he was important to me.
he did a stupid thing, doesn't mean I hate him. doesn't mean i think he's a bad guy.
cause i'll always remember him.

I'll move on. I know I will.
Just like I've moved on from a lot of things this summer.
Stupid school, stupid job, couple of stupid friendships.

And now I'm ready to move forward, see what God has in store for me.
RIght now, it's CSU.
that's what I'm focusing on.
Never to live in Brighton again.

AMEN to that, sista.

peace.

orientation

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:04:24 GMT

college orientation was the past two days. and it really opened my eyes up. to the negatives of college though.
I know its gonna be hard, I hope I don't flunk out, and I hope I can manage my time well.
I'm gonna miss a lot of people, really really bad. and it just hit me. :(
there's 25,000 students at CSU. there's no possible way everyone can know everyone.
it just makes me wonder who's gonna be my friend, who are the people that are going to stick with me?
I met some people at orientation, but they don't live in my halls and they have different majors, so who knows if they will even talk to me.

it all hurts. i wanted college to be so much more fun than high school, and I dont know if it's going to be.

and he ....he doesn't care anymore. once I leave, or now even, he's forgot all about me. i just don't understand.
How could you go from claiming to really love a person, to being able to not talk to them for weeks? I mean, just nothing? it doesn't make any sense. I wonder if he's thinking about me. Doesn't at least something remind him of me?

How could he just...forget? forget about me like that. drop me like a hot potatoe. it hurts more than anything. I've had it happen to me before, all the guys I've dated have been stupid, and they all just hurt me. I don't want to trust guys anymore. I don't want to. But Ray is different. I actually loved him. Really Truly. I know it. and no matter how much he hurts me, I'll always care for him, and i'll never ever hate him or dislike him in any way.

I just can't stand it. I don't want to let him go, but he's holding me by a string, so confused, and I just want to break it off with him, I just want to text him and be like you know what WE'RE DONE. but every day, i wake up, hoping, hoping, praying, so hard that he'll text me, call me, anything to come back to me. he never said we were broken up, the last thing he said to me was that he wanted to be together.

To describe how I'm feeling about this whole situation is impossible, but I want it's tearing me apart. I went to orientation and every time I looked at another guy I only thought about Ray.
I'm not like any of his other girlfriends, I actually love him inside out, upside, tear that boy apart and I love every part of him. no joke. I just couldn't stop. I don't love him because he's the quarterback, or cause he's popular. love him for HIM.
but i want someone who shares the same feelings for me, and he used to.
but i don't know what has happened.

parents

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:41:30 GMT

sick of them
i should not be a senior in high school i should be in college by now.
i want to be out of this damn house right now.
i dont effing ACT like a little kid, so stop treating me like one.
its such bullshit"dont smart off to me" and yet you use the same tone with me FIRST, and then when i return it you get all mad.'

sigh....

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:17:31 GMT

why is it whenever i come home from somehwere, i just go back to being sad or feeling empty, wasted, and blown out? i dont know.
i feel dead. ugh.
i feel lonely.
and scared.
NOT ready to be a senior.

my gums hurt

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 22:57:32 GMT

SO I guess the new house is better than I thought.
I could actually walk to school and such, its just a it farther, but I don't care, exercise is good. I'll get fresh air.
NOw I'm feeling like i was being selfish.
Seeing my mom so happy, made me realized that at least I'm staying at brihgton with the frieneds I have, and fulfilling my duty as drum major. ANd the house is not that far.My mom deserves this. And this is a good deal for a house.
I just hope we get that one. I'd rather have that one than the one in Reunion.
I realy don't want to move to Reunion. that's out of walking distance.

So I feel like I give, give , give to all my friends. and that's it.
WHich is fine of course, but I think I deserve some in return right? I mean is that selfish?
I mean it pretty much just sucks when I spend all my energy on trying to give my friend advice, and I don't even get a simple thank you. either that or there is no balance in the friendship, and its all about her. I mean we do tlak about me sometimes, but not as much as we do her. Everyhitng i have to say seems less inportant. we spend hours on her, and a couple of minutes on me. I try to talk about me, but the conversation just steers back to her.
There are so many things I need to figure out right now, and it scares me realy bad becuase i want to figure them out before seniory ear. I don't want my senior year like all the other years. FUll of pain, drama, and me being confused. I just finally want peace.
ANd I feel so selfish, like I'm sulking around feling sorry for myself. and thats not what I want to do.

there is no cure for boredom, i have discovered.

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 01:47:19 GMT

SO being bored really pisses me off.
It's a big pet peeve of mine. Especially since I should be at the lake right now with Sammie. If the reason that I couldn't go was a bit more....resonable, then maybe I wouldn't feel this angry about it. I LOVE going out onto boats on the lakes, Lake Erie and Lake Lanere are my favorite lakes in the world. Even though I haven't been to many lakes.
ANd even though going out on the lake with Sammie won't be the same as going with my Uncle Clark and family, it's still a lake, and that 's something I can't pass up, but I was forced to pass it up. *sigh* waht has this world come to? just joking. there are worse things in the world than not being able to go to the lake wih one of my friends.

I wish when people would say they would call me back, would actually do it. I always end up waiting around for them, which makes me feel like a no-life loser.
It pisses me off SO bad! I have such fun with some people, and then they never call and hang out. WHy am I always the one putting all the effort? its bullshit sometimes! And they act like they don't even notice, and then when I finally get pised about it , and stop putting up effort, of course they don't care.
It really hurts.
ANd it especially hurts when your brother is getting all these damn calls left and right from people inviting him to this place or that place. He's never in the house anymore. I'm crazy too ya know. It's not like I'm some emo shy girl who doesn't talk to anybody. What the hell? seriously. I'm so sick of feeling alone, even when I'm surrounded by people. But that's the thing. I'm jsut another face in the crowd, but yet I feel like I stand out. Maybe I'm just kidding myself.

why would he do that? honestly. you jsut don't do that. you don't understand anyhting! I know you are a guy, but come on man! you have to have some intelligence in that brain of yours. You don't just randomly tell me that you have a new grilfriend, especially when you NEVER apologized, or even talked to me about it. You expect me just to feel nothing. Of course I'm happy, becasue even after all you have out me through, I still love you. I still care about you and your happiness, But I don't think the feeling is mutual.
But still. It's like you were trying to make me jealous. ANd of course I don't still have feelings for you, but the pain is not gone. jerk, asshole. all those things I jsut want to scream in your face. You jerk, you asshole I love you still.

wowwww

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 05:28:36 GMT

It's funny how sometimes one of the most important points I have, I forget.
He told me , he promised me that not even death, would tear us apart. DOes he not remember that? He broek his promise, because he doesn't try and he doesn't care...SO tonight I saw Harry Potter 5 for the second time, haha. for surrre.
I'ma Harry POtter freak and I don't care what no one says about it!! :)
To be honest, one of my dreams is to be in a Harry POtter movie, but I doubt that that will happen.I don't jsut see it as something I like, these books amaze me. It's a totally differnet wolrd that I want to be in. I know that may sound cheesy, but honestly right now I don't care.Those books and these movies just have SUCH a connection with my emotions, its ridiculously awesome. I REALLY wantt o be in a movie, there's only two left, adn I don't know who to be in it.

hopefuly no one that I know gets on anymore

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 06:45:09 GMT

I trusted you. I trusted you with my life. I really did. I just don't get it. Why did I let myself trust yo so much, after all the hurt that I've gone through?I guess it was just the way that you were, your charm. It was how we clicked so fast. Never again will I trust the same. You screwed me over. When you said "I love you"I thought you really meant it. I pushed all the fear away, do you know how hard that was? I did it FOR YOU. I pushed all my negative emotion away, just to make myslef believe that you loved me. It was all a lie. DOn't tell me it wasn't because I know taht actions speak louder that words.I loved you so much! so much... or did I? I think I did. I'm just in shock. complete shock. how you would throw it all away for..them. didnt you realize what we had?I feel cheated, and lied to. betrayed.how could you do this? and then you act like its nothing!!!you act lie you dont care, you dont even talk to me.you got a new one, of course. ALREADY.
I told you my DEEPEST SECRET!!!!!!!!! MY DEEPEST ONE! THATS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER MADE! IS TELLING YOU, AND TRYUSTING YOU!!IM IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE, TO BE LOVED, TO EVER LOVE. BECAUSE OF YOU.

I'm sick of being here. I feel totally trapped, I'm the only one left. I don't waht's going to happen, I'm totally scared.I feel like I should hide. I'm in the dark, and left in my memory are the bangs and the screams, and the yells, and the pain, and the tears.I can't really describe anyhting in words right now, I dont know waht to say. I never want to be in what you guys are in, I dont even want you to be in it.just get out of it! its jsut hurting us all. Growing up this has happened all my life, you think im naive, and I cant hear , but I can. Im let down too, im disappointed too, im clueless too!alll the attention is on me, i cant hold this in anymore. we need to figure something out.
NOW.

they say they love me to my face but do they really mean it? I hear them talk about eachother, what makes me think that you wont do it to me?are we really friends? am I really alone like I feel like I am? Always pouring my heart into the pen, or the keys becuase I have nowhere else to go anymore."never meant to be alone" dont know if I believe that anymore. I dont feel wanted, no one calls, I set everyhting up. Actions speak louder than words.drama drama lets all just grow up and get along please!

HAPPINESS ROCKS!!!

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 01:52:32 GMT

SO I am really REALLY excited for this weekend! I am going to this freaking huge christian conference called dare 2 share is freaking amazing and I'm gonna have good times with my best friends in the entire world!!!!! and my fellow christians......so i am pretty content with my life except for the fact that school is so dang boring!! I am glad that everything that has happened, happened because it showed me the people I need and really love and how I need to view my life. I am a stronger person and I love God for that!!!the nost fun part of the day is band and history with jerrica and tyler cause we laughs our booties off. SO I am busy for the next 4 weekends. this weekend dare 2 share, next weekend basketball game and i'm gonna hang out with sarah, next weekend thanksgiving next weekend sammie. excting stufF!!! I am excited to get out in the real world and live my dreams! which I hope they come true. which reminds me, i need to work on that right now.oh! I am joining soccer!! I am gonna be on jv lol obviously.....
amichan

quote

"Giving up may not always mean you are weak, it sometimes means you are strong enough to let go"..................taht is so my quote right now!!!!!!

whats up!!!

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 23:48:26 GMT

SO Kay spent the night last night, and it was fun. I wish she could have stayed longer :( SO Kerri asked me out Tuesday!!!yay. I'm not a big fan of relationships, but I'll give him try.see what happens ok bye!
amichan

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 22:51:45 GMT

wow I haven't updated this thing in like forever. but I am now...obviously. anyway, so I'm not completely happy with my life right now. SOme more crap happened, and now I am living with guilt, regret, and pain that I can't even describe. But I am a totally changed person now. I am a really strong christian and every time I hear the words"drugs" or "alcohol" makes me want to scream. never never never ever again. Every time someone cusses I want to yell at them. Seriously. I don't care call me a goody good but I am a really strong christian and I am not ashamed of it.but I'm not like one of them sico christians who make up rules and force christianity on people. just letting you know. even though I am achanged person, and I am confused and I feel lost and I don[t really know who to go to. I always prey by myself and I am not quite sure I want to pur everyhting out to my pastor quite yet. I don't think I'm comfortable with that yet. but yeah anyway, school is boring as heck, I've tryed out for a lot of all state bands with my flute, well, I'm going to. I let kay cut my hair one day like a side bang, and my mom got mad, so we layered it and not it is all purdy! ^.^ SO this guy at my church, Kerri, is becoming a really good friend of mine. woot. seeya lata skata
amichan

sunburns suck

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 22:12:06 GMT

so after registration on Wednesday, I went to Water World with my church, and Lee was there. It was so awesome, we flirted again, it was cool. Stephanie and Daniel are going out now too it's pretty sweet. We were going on the Voyage ride, and I was gonna go on a tube with Daniel, Stephanie, and Kaylin. And in the other tube there was Lee, Brandon, and Tyler. Kay and Steph were yelling at me to go with Lee and the guys, they kept telling me that Lee was calling me over to go with him, but I never saw him do it. SO when Steph and Kay were basically screaming at me to go in with Lee, I did. But I'm still not sure if he called me over there but whatever. I got a major sunburn. On my shoulders and lower back it really sucks.
amichan

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 23:53:33 GMT

I don't want to go back to that freaking hellhole.

so yeah

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 04:12:42 GMT

I went to the mall with Linda and Sarah today, it was OK, something just dind't seem the same but we still had as mnuch fun as we do, it wasn't that, I think it was just me. So I am starting to not want to go back to school. honestly, I don't want to go to school anymore. I'm not dropping out, I just don't want a repeat of last year happeing again, but I have a feeling that pretty much everything is going to be the same
amichan

why does this always happen? HUH

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 04:11:45 GMT

I decided I'm not going to try with Lee anymore. I know it seems kind of sudden, but there is a lot of things that changed my mind. It tears me apart. Even mopre whe I was crushing on him . I seriously don't know what to do. Linda and Emma know everything there is to know about how I feel ab out him , so they know how much this sucks. It tears me apart more than any guy I've ever had, even Brandon. I'm just not gonna try anymore.
amichan

I don't kno what I'm doing....If I fall , I want a better landing.

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 21:24:17 GMT

The party at Stephanie's was awesome. A lot of stuff happneed. but I'm only goint to put a few things.

I AM TOTALLY FALLING FOR LEE. totally. ANd we flirted A LOT last nihgt, butI want him to like me SO bad. He's stuck in my head. can't stop thinking about him. I'm also worrying too much about him .Like things between us. I'm worried about what will happen, what has happened, what IS happening! I'm worried what he's thinking!!!!!! AAAAAH!!!!! what am I going to do!I don't want to get my hopes up and hen be crushed. I'm so.....WORRIED.

I'M LIVING 3 FREAKING LIVES

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 20:13:02 GMT

I need to freaking talk to somebody sooooo bad not even kidding, but ofcourse as always I have no one what else is new....if only Linda was here

friends are awesome!!!

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 05:12:41 GMT

i HAVE HUNG OUT WITH SO MANY PEOPLE THIS SUMMER, IT'S AWESOME. So me linda and sarah have a new slide show so go check my myspace and you will probably see it there. Emily came today and we hang out. It was sweet. well, that's all i have to say actually one more thing:

I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dude

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 03:08:54 GMT

today was pretty fun, AJ came over and then him, me and linda hung out the whole day it was pretty sweet. and then we went to the chool and tryed to do stuff but the janitor caught us good times. so me linda ansarah are probably gonna do a lemonade stand LOL because i need money to go to concerts with them,. so i am staying with leah tomorrow, and then steph is staying the night saturday
amichan

dude, ur a jerk face

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 20:32:02 GMT

ok, solast night I went out with leah and it was fun. We went to IHOP, and then sTARBUCKS, AND THEN WALGREENS, AND THEN IT WAS ALL DARK AND WE WENT TO THE REC CENTER AND SAT BY THAT LAKEY THINGY. it was sweet not gonna lie. we are gonna do something friday too. anyway i am so freaking bored, and my house is burning up its freaking annoying!